please don’t be intimidated by me, I’m a fucking dork
how can lawyers argue without crying
if i went into a courtroom i’d be all
now you fucking listen here you little cumslut
"he has been found guilty”
"HA IN YOUR FUCKING FACES, BITCHES."
^ Reasons why I never went to law school even though I wanted to.
Do you have any slutty confessions?
A big group of friends and I have a Facebook group literally just dedicated to sending eachother nudes and discussing other debauchery. It’s probably the highlight of my Facebook feed honestly.
I need a Facebook group like this in my life.
It’s hilarious that we live in a society that will shame you for how much sex you have and for the junk food you eat. Like, wow, how dare you eat delicious foods and have orgasms, you’re a monster. Enjoy your miserable life filled with pleasures.
I hate when black clothes are a slightly different black and don’t match
we joke but this is an actual thing
So did you like sell your soul to the devil or something cuz there's no way that your just this gorgeous naturally like yo what did you do? Do you drink unicorn blood or suck the souls from new born babies or something cuz it blows my mind.
You caught me! :o
But seriously, thank you! ♥
You might be stoned if you put Ranch Dressing on your pasta instead of sauce. Whoops.